Die letzten Monente von 2010...

Yeah, I've just got lazier and lazier at writing this thing, I admit. Anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, 2010, that byegone year. One thing I forgot to mention from back then was the Schlager/Christmas party organised by my good self on 13th December. Es ist abgegangen! In my sad little ways I bought Santa hats for everyone working at the Monday night 'Eastend' bar, and got my brother to import mince pies for me from blighty, which I then heated up all warm like mother used to make them, only for some people who tried them to say they tasted 'a bit like fruit cake'. These lot really don't know what's good for them.

Rocking it out German Schlager/Christmas style

Anyway, we got all the cheesiest songs you've ever heard in your life cranked up, including all the 'classics' already mentioned before in this blog, and people went absolutely mental. Nina by Michael Wendler and Amsterdam by Axel Fischer must both have been played three times, with people somehow more up for it the more they heard the same songs repeated. Can't see sticking Cotton Eyed Joe on repeat in Porky's in Bingley getting the same response somehow.

Then someone had a birthday, we all sang 'Hääppy Böörzday Tooo Yoooouuuu', cake was shared out, and copious amounts of fizzy vodka shots dealt out. Ace.

Our Christmas farewell party deserves a mention too, mostly due to our dear South Korean friend Hun-gu. Having never been to Europe in his life before and having led a pretty sheltered life, he's totally thrown himself into life here, and will probably end up going back to Korea an alcoholic, sex-addicted chain smoker. Anyway, when he first met me and discovered my englishness, his face instantly lit up as he exclaimed 'OOOH! VERY NICE! TOP GEAR, JEREMY CLARKSON!' to my total shame and embarrassment. When our country is primarily known for that sack of climate-change-denying middle-aged testosterone-fuelled excuse for a TV Show it makes me feel better about saying 'you know, like Mr Bean' when people don't hear my name properly.

Anyway, I digress. So amongst our main friendship group (Hun-gu, Chris from Iowa, Dora from Budapest, Nada and Hugo from Belgium, Gigi from Brazil, Iver the man-mountain from Denmark, Petra from Zagreb and my boring English self) we did a secret Santa, and as soon as I picked Hun-gu out I knew exactly what to get him. Again using my brother as goods-smuggler, I just told him to buy any type of crappy Top Gear merchandise from Debenhams and Hun-gu will lap it up. Joe came up with the goods, and Hun-gu sat there eyes-a-popping at his 'Where's Stig' book (reduced to half price for obvious reasons) and chuckling about Toyota Priuses.

The best bit was that during our christmas dinner and Glühwein we noticed that Hungu had been missing for 10 minutes or so. On looking for him we found him sat back in the living room, once more in Top Gear based raptures. The power of Top Gear has been very much so underestimated on my part.


I can now finally wrap up 2010 with a telling of Silvester in Köln (new year's in Cologne for the English-speakers amongst you). We headed off with a barrel of Frankfurt beer, sparkling wine and some sparkly pink glasses, and just intended to soak it up. For some though, being welcomed at the Hauptbahnhof by horizontal fireworks shooting along the square was just a little bit too much, and we arrived at the bank of the Rhine minus two pussy Turkish girls. For those who stayed, we were treated to roman candles set off at every street corner, sparkling wine basically being shared out, and an awesome display of borderline maniacal firework firing put on by all the members of the public stationed along the river. The night ended in Das Ding, and the only disappointment was not seeing Dinner For One - an old English sketch which is a complete German new year's institution, but not heard of by a single person on our shores. Get a beer or two in you and no matter how many times the butler trips over, you'll still piss yourself.

So that was 2010 in Dortmund. Not too bad. Come back here in May sometime and I may have got around to speaking about this year